They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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