On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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