its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
