Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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