Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
