Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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