can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
