just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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