OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You've changed since you got that strap on
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
