And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.đź’¨
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
