Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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