Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
