Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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