I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
