I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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