Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
