hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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