I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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