Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
