omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
