I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
