last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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