It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
