Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
