no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
