yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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