that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
