She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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