i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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