I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Randomize
