That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
