Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
