only if we run a train.
done.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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