We're facebook friends in real life
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
