He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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