so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
