D3 body, D1 cock
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
