We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize