She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
