so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
