her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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