Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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