some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
