Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
