Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You are a genius and a whore.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
