Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
