I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he thought i was a dude.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
