Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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