I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
