nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
