i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
