He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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