Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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