It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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