butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
