I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
