I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
