I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
