i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
