I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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