please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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