I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
