It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
