on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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