Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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