I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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