Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
