I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize