ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
