i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
