i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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