I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
