I'm gonna have a badass scar
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
