if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
