We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
